I Am Jack's Raving BlogThe Dreams In Which I'm Dying Are The Best I've Ever Had.
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Posted by: hsi007

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Original: 12/15/2005 9:03 PM
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Thursday, December 15, 2005

 
Currently Listening
Forbidden Love
By Death Cab for Cutie
see related

EMO.


I wanted to share something that happened to me some time ago.  You see, on November 20th, 2004, I attended a Dashboard Confessionals concert with some friends.  But I didn't quite feel like myself that night.  I felt...sad.   I felt...sensitive.  To put it succinctly, I felt...EMO.  I'm not sure what brought about this profound change, but it might have had something to do with the following:

  •  My cat dying.  Not like you care anyways.  RIP my beloved Sheila.
  •  My parents not understanding me.  But no surprise there.  No one understands me.
  •  Taking Back Sunday and My Chemical Romance not coming out with new CD's quickly enough.  Gosh!
  •  The fact that I tried to dye my hair black the week before, only to find out that my hair is already that color.  Ugh, life can be so unfair.
  •  Finding out that "the poor" are stealing my look by shopping at Salvation Army too.
  •  People who keep stealing my Weezer pins off of my European carry-all.  Shutup, it's not a purse you fag.  (Not that there's anything wrong with that).
  •  My studded belt that keeps cutting my skin.  Not that I care.  Pain is the truest release anyways.
  •  Everyone else's music sucking so bad.
  •  All of these feelings I have inside!  Such angst!

Yeah, so I may have pinpointed my feelings there.  I really was upset about my cat, so that probably explains it.  I even wrote a poem about her, which I have chose to share with you.  I'm really glad I have this online journal as a release for all my thoughts- it's rather cathartic.  Anyways, here it is:


Funeral For A Feline


All I ask is why
why did you have to leave me?
Leave me with all this

pain
         and sorrow
                            and misery.

your Name was Sheila
and you were beautiful.
I loved you so greatly,
So much that words cannot describe
the bond which formed our love.

But now I am Here
                                    // alone //
without you.
Locked in a Prison of my own
despair and melancholy.
A thousand swords of agony
rain down from the sunless sky,
and pierce my Tortured flesh
like a poorly formed simile.

They fall like the tears
    that run from my eyes

       Down

           Down
      
       Down

No end in sight.

Why did you wound me so?
You were so Perfect-
So furry and fine.
Your whiskers were like strands
of beauty and warmth.
You had no flaws.
Although you could have tried
to use the litter box more often.
Cuz seriously, like wtf?

But now you are in another box.
One from which you shall depart no more.
And I Wish
that the last time I saw you
Could have been a happier time.
But instead I say goodbye to you
The dearest Friend of mine

At a Funeral
For A Feline.

-Septavian Sanskrit-
(that's my poetry pen name)



Wow, that was quite painful for me to write.  But I'm glad I did.  It really helps.  Anyways, back to that night at the concert. (By the way, if you're wondering why I'm posting this so long after the fact, it's because I've been working through my emotions for the last year- so back off.)  I found myself looking rather different than usual- wearing tight pants, thick black rimmed glasses, and a hoody that was two sizes to small (like your heart, grinch).  But I would like to share some photos with you, as they may help you understand that which is EMO.  I have also provided some music for you to listen to- it will help get you in the emo mood.  Click the emo button below to play it, and listen as you look at the photos below.  Here goes:



 
















































































And that about wraps it up.

Although I'd like to leave you with one more image- a dedication to the one I love, the one who made this all possible:








Thank you for all the memories my love.

We will never forget you.

 Posted 12/15/2005 9:03 PM - 85 Views - 58 eProps - 34 comments

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Visit EmmyFromTheBlock's Xanga Site!
Spoken like a true teen angsty poet.

You do me proud, Roonaloon.
Posted 12/15/2005 10:03 PM by EmmyFromTheBlock - reply

Visit affaire_de_coeur's Xanga Site!

your look is flawless.

except for the trademark uneven, home-cut, too-long bangs. once you have those covered, you must perform the most well-known emo trait: "the emo boy hair flick"

-k

Posted 12/15/2005 11:20 PM by affaire_de_coeur - reply

Visit Free11Skier's Xanga Site!
Making fun of emo kids? Childish. Grow up buddy, grow up.
Posted 12/15/2005 11:30 PM by Free11Skier - reply

Visit theundefinedesiNoor's Xanga Site!
o my God. so freakin' hilarious. thanks for the laughs.
Posted 12/15/2005 11:45 PM by theundefinedesiNoor - reply

Visit azthebaz's Xanga Site!
Sanjay, I feel for you. But as a res hall nark I'm going to have to turn you in for having a cat at all. I mean seriously just because you're emo doesn't mean you can break the rules and have your cat crap all over the building. I mean wtf?
Posted 12/16/2005 12:27 AM by azthebaz - reply

Visit bossmanfaraz2's Xanga Site!
HAHAHA omG that poem! I can totally hear your crazy ass voice reading it...

You and yer hoodie. Such angst!

How's Mentor?
Posted 12/16/2005 4:56 AM by bossmanfaraz2 - reply

Visit Kami_Bum's Xanga Site!
Wait, if your cat just died, that would have been 2005; you're totally busted.
Posted 12/16/2005 7:56 AM by Kami_Bum - reply

Visit sanubabie23's Xanga Site!

aww im sorry about ur cat :(

but hahaha i love the pics

Posted 12/16/2005 10:26 AM by sanubabie23 - reply

Where's the studded belt?

The tight pants?

The t-shirt thrown over the long sleeve shirt?

You needed a real emo stylist to pull this off.

I'll give you props on the poem though.

Posted 12/16/2005 10:29 AM by Anonymous - reply

Visit Miriam_Habib's Xanga Site!
I'm so sorry about your kitty...
Posted 12/16/2005 5:15 PM by Miriam_Habib - reply

Visit annabanana0687's Xanga Site!
hahahaha why are you so hilarious... sigh that was amazing.
Posted 12/17/2005 10:17 AM by annabanana0687 - reply

Visit suglio's Xanga Site!

I beg a differ about your cat, read my new post.  Anyway, so I have been waiting over a year for this post.  It was worth the wait, pretty funny.  I could hear in my head your emo song being sung by dashboard.  I find it funny that it was originally going to be a puppy that died, why did you change it to a cat?

I find it funny that people really think your cat died.

Posted 12/21/2005 2:33 PM by suglio - reply

Visit amberisamusicsnob's Xanga Site!
first off...
your pants need to be tighter
your hoodie should be inside out
and do something depressing with that hair

hehe
otherwise you're good

~amber
Posted 12/23/2005 6:03 PM by amberisamusicsnob - reply

Visit hiGhxLyt3d_kisX's Xanga Site!
lmfao! ahahaaa u need to be bitchslapped for that one
Posted 12/24/2005 3:10 PM by hiGhxLyt3d_kisX - reply

Visit Sarthak84's Xanga Site!

i liek ur chasma!

Merry Xmas~

Posted 12/26/2005 12:14 AM by Sarthak84 - reply

Visit zabeha_pork's Xanga Site!
poor sheila :(
Posted 12/30/2005 10:17 AM by zabeha_pork - reply

Visit JML14's Xanga Site!
Nice try, but you're missing an essential type of photograph. You need one with the camera above your head, pointing down. Now make sure that you're looking down and pouting as well. The camera should be really close too. If done correctly the results should show a bunch of hair, a nose, and a bit of a frown. This type of photo shot is the crack-cocaine to emos. Other than that, good work. (Somehow my last post was about emo kids too - go figure)
Posted 1/6/2006 5:52 PM by JML14 - reply

Visit unofficialbusiness's Xanga Site!

Hi, i've subscribed to you. But hark! Please don't be startled as a stranger enters your e-territory. Your page is interesting, and well....my friends aren't. So i need SOME form of entertainment, and you are the way.

My condolences go out to you and the loss of your cat. I seriously almost shed a tear when i read that poem.

Take care, and have a great day.

Posted 1/21/2006 12:09 AM by unofficialbusiness - reply

Visit maygunah's Xanga Site!

i am saddened by your loss

but goddamn are you funny!

Posted 2/7/2006 4:09 PM by maygunah - reply

Visit cluelesschic101's Xanga Site!

hey random propz... sry about ur cat. but i luv the pics.

Posted 2/10/2006 7:19 PM by cluelesschic101 - reply

Visit PashuPati's Xanga Site!
you suck at life
Posted 2/24/2006 9:08 PM by PashuPati Xanga True Member - reply

Visit AznWightBoy's Xanga Site!
you
Posted 3/1/2006 11:05 PM by AznWightBoy - reply

Visit asmar10030's Xanga Site!
Not to down play your blog entry, um most of which I didn't actually read. I got the gist of it as I quickly scrolled through several photos of you being either sad or cheesy with your guitar. However I did pick up on the fact that a catdied, and for that I am sorry. Now, for the whole point of the comment: You totally look like a desi Tom Cruise in your profile picture. I do apologize for the lack of wit and or whatever else it is that makes comments charming.
Posted 4/9/2006 1:31 AM by asmar10030 - reply

Visit LittleAngryFinn's Xanga Site!

Emo kids typically avoid eye contact with the camera and/or subsequently with the viewing audience.  Such a gesture would open up their souls to others in a common, logical way, which they avoid.  (Their lives seem incredibly illogical given their emotional take on everything; they see themselves as victims of society, and victims of themselves.)  Instead, emo kids like to give people only hints of their :depression: or :angst: or :self-hatred:, whatever it is, with their poetry and artsi-fartsiness.  They feel as if nobody in the world understands their pain as they do, while in reality, almost all pain feels similar (even if from different causes), especially among all those little emo kids with the thick eyeliner and tight pants. 

Next time you pretend to be emo, you must aim for more authenticity.  Wear tight, girly jeans of either denim or black color.  Don a studded belt, as mentioned by others.  Borrow someone else's shoes, just to try to sell the image.  And try more of a blank stare, less eyebrow displacement.  Emo kids are more emotionally blank on the outside than actually sad, to my understanding.

I must be unAmerican, and I'm assuming you are too, due to the gun comment.  Similarly, emo kids are also unAmerican, for they are too pathetic to take themselves out of their claimed misery. (Had to stick with the theme of the comment, for some reason.)

Also, I'm wondering if that picture of "Sheila" the former kitten was taken from kittenwar.com.  If not, I recommend you go to the site, just for kicks.  That and cuteoverload.com.

Posted 4/12/2006 11:00 AM by LittleAngryFinn - reply

Visit fakejagner's Xanga Site!

did you watch the entire thing?  one of those links doesn't even work.  I would say the that only ignorance is found in those who can't even accept at least the possibility that it is true.

Posted 4/17/2006 4:54 PM by fakejagner - reply

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