I wanted to share something that happened to me some time ago.
You see, on November 20th, 2004, I attended a Dashboard Confessionals
concert with some friends. But I didn't quite feel like myself
that night. I felt...sad. I felt...sensitive. To put
it succinctly, I felt...EMO. I'm not sure what brought about this
profound change, but it might have had something to do with the
following:
My cat dying. Not like you care anyways. RIP my beloved Sheila.
My parents not understanding me. But no surprise there. No one understands me.
Taking Back Sunday and My Chemical Romance not coming out with new CD's quickly enough. Gosh!
The fact that I tried to dye my hair black the week before,
only to find out that my hair is already that color. Ugh, life
can be so unfair.
Finding out that "the poor" are stealing my look by shopping at Salvation Army too.
People who keep stealing my Weezer pins off of my European
carry-all. Shutup, it's not a purse you fag. (Not that
there's anything wrong with that).
My studded belt that keeps cutting my skin. Not that I care. Pain is the truest release anyways.
Everyone else's music sucking so bad.
All of these feelings I have inside! Such angst!
Yeah, so I may have pinpointed my feelings there. I really was
upset about my cat, so that probably explains it. I even wrote a
poem about her, which I have chose to share with you. I'm really
glad I have this online journal as a release for all my thoughts- it's
rather cathartic. Anyways, here it is:
Funeral For A Feline
All I ask is why
why did you have to leave me?
Leave me with all this
pain
and sorrow
and misery.
your Name was Sheila
and you were beautiful.
I loved you so greatly,
So much that words cannot describe
the bond which formed our love.
But now I am Here
// alone //
without you.
Locked in a Prison of my own
despair and melancholy.
A thousand swords of agony
rain down from the sunless sky,
and pierce my Tortured flesh
like a poorly formed simile.
They fall like the tears
that run from my eyes
Down
Down
Down
No end in sight.
Why did you wound me so?
You were so Perfect-
So furry and fine.
Your whiskers were like strands
of beauty and warmth.
You had no flaws.
Although you could have tried
to use the litter box more often.
Cuz seriously, like wtf?
But now you are in another box.
One from which you shall depart no more.
And I Wish
that the last time I saw you
Could have been a happier time.
But instead I say goodbye to you
The dearest Friend of mine
At a Funeral
For A Feline.
-Septavian Sanskrit-
(that's my poetry pen name)
Wow, that was quite painful for me to write. But I'm glad I
did. It really helps. Anyways, back to that night at the
concert. (By the way, if you're wondering why I'm posting this so long
after the fact, it's because I've been working through my emotions for
the last year- so back off.) I found myself looking rather
different than usual-
wearing tight pants, thick black rimmed glasses, and a hoody that was
two sizes to small (like your heart, grinch). But I would like to
share some photos with you, as they may help you understand that which
is EMO. I have also provided some music for you to listen to- it
will help get you in the emo mood. Click the emo button below to
play it, and listen as you look at the photos below. Here goes:
And that about wraps it up.
Although I'd like to leave you with one more image- a dedication to the one I love, the one who made this all possible: